Life can swirl around preschoolers like a windstorm. Between playdates, preschool, and daycare, they may feel like the adults in their life don’t really see them. If you want to make your kid feel special, loved, and appreciated, try and incorporate these five special moments into their everyday lives.
Make eye contact
We may believe we can listen to what our kid is saying while we dash off a work email, but in reality, dividing your attention can make your child feel like you’re placing them second. So the next time they want to talk to you, put down what you’re doing and give your child your full eye contact and complete attention. Ask a question or two that shows you’re truly listening and are present. If you can’t drop what you’re doing at that moment, say so. Ask your child to give you a moment to wrap up your task, then be sure to follow up with them,
Put Your Phone Down
It’s so simple, but it means so much! Studies have shown that children are very aware of when their parents are paying attention to their phones instead of them. They want to be the thing you’re looking at. So put your phone down when you’re with them. Better yet, put it in the other room. If you’re expecting an important phone call or message, turn the ringer up and explain to your child you may have to step away for a moment. But otherwise, your attention is on them.
Create Meaningful Traditions
No need to construct anything elaborate; this is really about spending quality, one-on-one time together and creating lasting memories. Get in the kitchen with your child and make a pancake breakfast for the family on Sundays. Set a monthly date where you treat your kid to a favorite treat and an hour at the playground. Invite your child to accompany you to your standing salon appointment, and stay for mani-pedis afterward. Such simple traditions can go a long way toward building that special parent-child connection.
Speak Their “Love Language”
Is your child a hugger? Do they love giving and receiving gifts? Are they constantly telling you how much they love you? Identify how they best give and receive love, and show them affection in an individualized way. This can be particularly helpful if you have multiple children. Specializing how you say “I love you” to each one shows them that you’re paying attention and aren’t mechanically doling out half-hearted praise.
Make Special Time Just for Them
It could be as official as “National <Insert Child’s Name> Day” or designating Saturday mornings as “go get breakfast with Dad” day. Again, this is particularly helpful if you have multiple children. Each one will know they get your undivided attention at a specific time. That gives them the chance to ask you questions or have conversations they may not want to have with everyone else around.
Don’t forget to involve your child in deciding how you spend time together. (For example, if they don’t like being outside, then don’t go for a walk.) This little investment could be the expression of love your child remembers and appreciates decades from now.
Take Interest in Their Interests
It’s easy to forget that your kids are just tiny people — everyone feels special when someone is interested in the things they like. And we know … it’s hard to listen to your little one talk about that one episode of Paw Patrol for the millionth time. But showing interest, asking questions, and learning more about the things they love tells them that they are interesting to you and worth your time. Plus, being interested in the same things means they come running to you the next time something exciting happens. And what parent doesn’t love that?
Thank Your Child
When your child cleans up his mess, thank him. When your child runs down the stairs to help you bring up the groceries, show your appreciation. Although, our children may still seem like mini immature versions of yourself, they still need the kudos and validation as much as us big kids.
Provide Genuine Praise
Even if you think you are adequately praising your children, take a step back and ask the question, “What am I praising them for?” If it’s everything they do, praising them actually has the opposite effect. If everything they do is special, then nothing they do is special. The quality of their praise is more important than the quantity. Praising your children for the things they do that are out of the ordinary or when they are working hard to achieve a goal. In other words, their effort is more important than the outcome.