Chores and child development are keys of Communicating. To make it seem less like work and incorporate playful aspects, chores could involve speed competition, taking turns, or singing a favorite song. Or kids could assume superhero characters with powers that relate, for example, to cleaning or yard work.
Consider creating competitions to excite kids to perform chores, For example, each Saturday morning you can choose a chore from a whiteboard labeled “House Needs.” Whoever woke up first could sign up for the chore of their choice. It was ‘first come, first served’ for everyone else.
It’s key that adults work alongside young children: It’s as important to support the children’s learning itself, as it is to help them acquire the sequencing and execution of the skills needed to complete the parts of a task. Acknowledge what tasks your little one is doing correctly. Don’t be dismayed if your child is not perfect and has trouble completing tasks. Know that the activity is about trying to learn life skills through chore
6 Tips for Parents and Families
- Be specific and clear in your request. For example, ask a child to get a certain book from a bookcase. After you have read to the child, you can request the child to return the book to the same place. As a child is learning the sequence of steps in a chore, consider breaking it down and narrating each step as they complete it. Be specific in your praise for what the child has done or tried to do. Rather than saying a general “Good job!” try “You did a good job putting a napkin at everyone’s plate!”
- Build chores into the natural routines of the day and maintain the routine. Kids do better with consistent times and schedules for activities. Routines are a natural place for children to have regularly occurring chores. Is it time to get ready for bed? Families might have a child pick up toys as the first step in their bedtime routine. Making toy pick-up a consistent part of this routine offers children predictability. They know what the chore entails how long the chore will take – and what is coming after the toys are put away.
- Find chores that match a child’s temperament and interests. Responsibilities for preschoolers must also be age-appropriate. When introducing chores to very young children, capitalize on their natural desire to help and mimic. Perhaps your child might want to fold laundry? Matching socks might be an appropriate task for children who enjoy identifying patterns. Does your child show interest in cooking? That child might enjoy pouring water into a muffin mix and stirring the ingredients. And remember – the young child’s effort is what counts.
- Use a reward system that matches your child’s developmental stage and motivational needs. Some kids will have intrinsic motivation, while others may need additional motivators to complete tasks. Older kids understand that bigger rewards can come by accruing and saving credit in exchange for completing a chore. For children ages 4 to kindergarten, use a chart with stickers to mark progress. Once children reach an agreed-upon amount, they earn a reward. The reward shouldn’t be elaborate or expensive – nor does it need to be material. We suggest rewarding children by doing something special together. Children under the age of four have not yet cognitively developed enough to understand delayed gratification, so a chart showing progression might not be effective for them. But, doing the chore first followed by an enjoyable activity is a good option.
- Offer children time and encouragement. Encourage your child to learn the sequence and actions for completing a chore. Children need to engage in tasks multiple times to learn how to perform them correctly. Your child, like the rest of us, needs the chance to practice and make mistakes when acquiring a new skill. Remember to support children as they perform tasks. Acknowledge their successes, and offer praise when they complete them. When children have difficulty finishing a task, help them understand that they are making progress toward mastering the skills required.
- Avoid offering payment for doing chores. We adults don’t get paid for keeping up our households and carrying out the daily tasks that contribute to our family’s wellbeing. Our children should not, either. By helping our kids to learn a task and eventually do it on their own – even when they don’t want to – we promote their acquiring important skills critical to their academic success – perseverance, self-efficacy, and completing an assignment. These same skills will serve them well in adulthood.
Make chores consistent and more meaningful.
Doing chores is important for a child’s development. They help kids learn life skills and responsibility. Doing chores also teaches kids how important community is, whether it’s their family or their school or their neighborhood. They can boost confidence, too.
The earlier you start having kids do chores, the better. You can have them start doing little things around the house when they’re 3 or 4.
Making chores part of a routine can help. Giving kids a choice of which chores they do and keeping a chore chart can also be helpful.
Making the chore specific, like asking them to put their books away and then put their toys away, is better than saying, “Clean your room.” Being specific lets kids know what is expected. Breaking chores down into steps is especially important for kids with ADHD or learning disorders.
Rewarding kids with praise or an allowance for completing chores gives kids a sense of accomplishment. You can build toward doing more or harder chores. For example, start by having your kid make their bed once a week and slowly build until they do it every day.
If a kid knows what chores are expected of them but doesn’t do them, you can tell them you’re taking away their allowance or screen time. This way, kids start to understand that their choices have consequences. Then you can encourage them: “Next week is another chance to do your chores and earn your allowance. I know you can do it!”