Children are continually engaging with the world around them, exploring their curiosities and learning from their experiences. These early moments are essential to growing their self-confidence and building the foundations for their self-esteem.
- What can we do to contribute to how a child thinks about themselves?
- Which opportunities can we use to support their confidence?
Below are 5 simple ways we can encourage confidence in the early years using the acronym AWARE.
Let Them Lead
1. Self-directed play and learning are crucial to the development of self-confidence. In the “Donkey Hodie” series, Donkey and her pals are the leaders of their own imaginative play and activities. Being in charge of how they play is a normal and important part of children’s development during the preschool stage. Give ample opportunities for independent play. And when you’re playing with your child, you can try being the “actor” and letting your child be the “director.” Encourage them to come up with the ideas for how the play happens and the materials they may want to use. Ask about the details of the choices they’re making, and let them decide what happens next and what the outcome will be. Try encouraging this kind of child leadership in play by asking open-ended questions and saying things like:
- How did you decide what to name those toys?
- I wonder what kind of feelings these superheroes are having right now?
- What do you think should happen next?
Attention
2. We can pay attention by observing a child’s interests and use them as a way of practicing new experiences. For example, if the child is passionate about cars, we could play with toy cars, imagining we are both on a journey to one of their favorite places. We could introduce other vehicles too, extending their knowledge, talking to them about what they might see and experience in a vehicle that they may not have travelled in before.
Wait
3. It can be tempting to remove obstacles or do things for a child but remember we won’t always be there to help. For example, if a child is trying to lift a large toy, wait and watch, see what they do. We can let them know we are there by acknowledging their actions, “I can see you want to move the block to the wall.” If they struggle and get frustrated, we can offer guidance and then wait, “What about if you pushed the toy”. This allows for them to try a different way and practice their persistence.
Ask
4. When we ask for children’s expressions of their needs, wants and interests, it can encourage their self-confidence. For example, offering the options of activities they might like and asking them which they would like to do. In addition, asking children to partake in an everyday task or if they would like to help, contributes to their self-esteem, nurturing their feelings of being valued and listened to.
Role model
5. Children are always watching us and this includes how we approach challenges and our attitude to experiences. They see our behavior and responses as a reference for when they are faced with a similar situation. We can encourage their confidence through modelling, showing enjoyment towards a new experience or enthusiasm to exploring a new place. For example, an opportunity to model would be on a rainy day; children can see us get excited in anticipation for jumping in puddles or expressing our eagerness at the possibility of spotting snails and slugs.
Effort
6. Focusing on effort put in and experimentation are important for growing a child’s confidence. When playing a game, we can shift the goal of winning or losing to trial and error, concentrating on the attempts made and then reflecting on whether they were successful or not. For example, “I see you chose to put it there” and if it didn’t work you can reflect on what they could do instead, “That didn’t work did it, what else could you do?” The fun of discovering what works and what doesn’t encourages a child’s resilience in future situations.
We can nurture children to have a positive perception of their self-worth and help with their ability to deal with new situations. Remember, to support children’s confidence use AWARE; pay Attention to their interests, Wait and see before helping, Ask and invite involvement, Role model enthusiasm for new experiences and focus on Effort and actions taken.
Praise Effort in The Process
7 .In the episode “Mountain Climb Time,” Donkey and Panda encourage one another as they climb Mt. Really High Up (“We’re on the right path, buddy!”). Part of being self-confident is recognizing the value in the process of what we’re doing — not just the outcome. We can help instill this concept in our kids by noticing and celebrating their efforts, and helping them to enjoy themselves in the moment rather than focusing on a particular accomplishment. This might sound like:
- “I see you’re working really hard at that!”
- “Hasn’t it been fun to spend time creating this?”
- “You’ve had so many creative ideas for how to solve this problem!”
Let Kids Help and Give
8. Self-esteem grows when kids see that what they do matters to others. Kids can help at home, do a service project at school, or do a favor for a sibling. Helping other people and doing kind acts builds self-esteem and other good feelings.
By helping boost your child’s self-esteem, they’ll have the courage to try new things and make smart choices.