Being a parent comes with its joys and frustrations. Parenting is not an easy job!
Parents feel the need to perfectly balance everything in life, from parenting, work life, home life, etc. Below are some great points to help handle behaviors and frustrating situations.
Speak with Other Parents
Most of the time we forget that other parents go through some of the same behaviors we are experiencing ourselves! Having someone to talk through and get advice from is very helpful! It allows us to realize we are not alone!
Schedule
Some children respond well with a schedule and need the day to run a certain way. This allows children to know what is next and what your expectation is! For younger children having a visual schedule with pictures with a fantastic idea! Some parents use a Velcro strip and allow children to take down the picture once that task is complete. It clearly outlines expectations in a fun way!
Support Groups
Many cities/towns offer mommy/daddy groups. This is a fantastic opportunity to meet new families with children of the same age group. It allows children and parents to make new friends. Being able to speak with other parents helps relieve stress and in many cases getting out of the house can help mothers suffering from post partum depression.
Time for Yourself
This is the most important step! You can not take care of others if you do not take care of yourself! This will relieve stress and make you feel good about yourself. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY! You are entitled to a few moments to yourself. This can be as simple as putting a movie for your children while you sit back and read a book, or a bubble bath, working out, going shopping etc.
Dealing with parent frustrations and behaviors is normal, it is a part of parenting. Try these tips and always remember you are not alone.
Give Responsive Feedback
Responsive parenting simply means noticing and acting on your child’s interests, body language, and communication, both verbal and nonverbal. The next time you begin to see signs of low frustration tolerance, take your toddler’s perspective and describe their actions and feelings out loud: “You tried to put the carrot in the hole sideways and it didn’t fit. You seem frustrated.” Also known as sportscasting, this method of responsive feedback acknowledges what’s happening factually, without judging or trying to fix anything.
Encourage Your Toddler To Try a New Strategy
When your child asks for help, is about to quit, or otherwise seems to need support, offer hints to help them expand their thinking. You might ask or say:
“Do you want to try it a different way?”
“What do you think would happen if you pulled the green handle?”
“I wonder if you turned the coin whether it might fit in the slot.”
Slow Down to Demonstrate Figuring Things Out
When playing alongside your toddler or introducing a new toy, pretend to spend about 30 seconds “figuring it out.” Slow your movements and narrate what you’re thinking and doing: “Oh wow! This is an interesting box. I see it has a lid, a base, and a slot. I wonder if this lid comes off … nope, not really. Do you think this coin goes in the slot? It looks to be about the same size…”. Watching you “stick it out” with a tricky task will encourage them to do the same.
Offer Your Toddler Activities in The “Sweet Spot” of Difficulty.
While your child may happily choose toys they can solve quickly, research suggests young toddlers are most likely to want to persist with an activity until completed when a toy takes them about 1 minute to figure out. If you notice your toddler completing a puzzle in 30 seconds or less, for example, they’re likely ready for a new challenge to continue to build their fine motor and spatial awareness skills.
Although you may sometimes feel exhausted, remember to reassure toddlers that you love them and it’s their behavior you don’t like, not them. Offer plenty of praise and attention when your child behaves well.
One of the most important parenting tools to use with your toddler-indeed, with children of any age-is modeling behavior that you expect. Children learn from what you tell them. And they learn even more from what they see you do. Interacting with others in a loving, open manner and dealing with frustrations calmly will give your toddler the best model to learn from.