There is a misconception that showing love to a child means never denying their desires or wants. Understandably, every parent wants nothing more than to see their child happy. However, “no” is a powerful word that can be used to benefit your child’s emotional and developmental health from preschool on. Here are four reasons your child can benefit from hearing “no.”
Why Children Need to Hear “No”
1. Coping Skills
When a child is unable to attain something they want, they typically feel upset and disappointed. These emotions can be big, loud, and uncomfortable for both of you, but they allow your child to learn how to become more comfortable coping with disappointment. Their young lives will be filled with many no’s and they need to regulate themselves when they receive alternative and non preferred responses.
2. Boundaries
From preschool to their first job, there will always be a teacher, coach, or supervisor they need to respect, follow, and listen to. Hearing “no” from a parent establishes that they are in charge.
When a parent negotiates with a child, the dynamic becomes clouded, leaving the child to believe that they can supersede adult instructions if they want to. Although it may not appear this way, the security a child feels when they know their parents are the authority is what helps them feel safe.
3. Learning to Wait
Instant gratification at a young age can lead to entitlement and unrealistic expectations outside of the home. In the adult world, we know there are countless aspects of delayed gratification that require time, energy, and money before the results we want to see can come to fruition. When we give a child everything they want, we deny them the opportunity to learn that valuable lesson.
4. Safety
An adult’s number one responsibility is to keep a child safe. If a child wants to do something that could hurt themselves or others, it’s a parent’s job to say “no.” Their boundless imaginations and innocence are a treasure, but it’s up to you to help them understand when an action or activity is endangering their safety.